Just Feel

I stumbled upon an article on women24.com by the candid and courageous Lili Radloff called Masturbation is a Sin? I found it an insightful, thought-provoking and somewhat amusing read.

The article obviously struck a chord with readers because many left comments – some angry, some funny, some weird. Many were judgmental and most surprisingly, quite insulting to others. What struck me was that the most scathing, were written under a pseudonym.

I believe that everyone should speak their mind, share opinions and have a say. I understand that by speaking out one risks criticism. But, if one feels strongly enough about an issue to be driven to verbally attack others then shouldn’t one at least have the guts to leave a name?

I was moved enough to leave a comment – something I don’t often do.

Masturbation is a contentious topic. Much like religion, human sexuality is uniquely personal to each individual – and private for many.

It doesn’t matter to me what your preferences are. I’m not here to judge what you do (or don’t do) to your body – it doesn’t affect me. But what does impact me is the fact that I have been stripped – not of my clothes, but of the privilege of ever touching my body – in any way possible – ever again.

Regretfully, there was a time in my life when I was too arrogant to contemplate the possibility of never being able to feel my body. Now, I cannot even rub my own nose. Never again will I feel my naked skin – my softness, my moistness, my…

Being paralysed from the neck down has given me a whole new perspective on life – and more significantly, on living – and really feeling the power of the moment.

I do not claim to be an expert on anything, most especially masturbation. But through my own personal loss I feel the need to share some truths at risk of exposing my vulnerability.

Touch, stroke, explore, massage, caress, feel your body all over as often as possible just because… you CAN. Be sensual, be sexy, be daring – safely within the comfort of your own nakedness – without any inhibition.  More importantly, celebrate your sensuality – something that is primal, deeply embedded in the cells of every living being. Experience the joy and value the freedom you have to love yourself, physically and intimately – just as you please – inside and out. You still have that choice – I don’t!

Recently I’ve learned that if someone’s writings stir you – having a profound impact on your thoughts and emotions – you owe it to them to let them know. Sincerity is the key. And always speak the truth – from the heart.

Lili your frank and outspoken approach to this controversial topic gave me the courage to bare my soul, hopefully reminding people never to take anything in life for granted. Thank you.

I’ve come to appreciate and value the comments that people take the time to leave after each of my blog posts. No words can express my gratitude for you taking the time to read my work and making the effort to leave a comment. YOU are my motivation – not only to carry on writing, but to continue living. Thank you for making a difference in my life.

Incidentally, someone writing under the alias What the…  on Lili’s article directed a comment straight at me…

Tracy Todd how did you type this then…?

Maybe many of you are wondering the same? I’ll answer that question next time.

Please feel free to ask me anything you wish – nothing is too personal. I would rather answer your questions than risk you making ignorant assumptions. I look forward to the opportunity of teaching you more about my world.

About Tracy Todd (Brave Lotus Flower)

Author of Brave Lotus Flower Rides the Dragon – an intimate and inspiring memoir of a quadriplegic. Inspirational Speaker. Teacher. Counsellor. Wife. Mother. Animal lover. Although I need a wheelchair to get around, it is most certainly not what defines me.
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19 Responses to Just Feel

  1. Wenchy says:

    wow… suddenly i feel very much like i have taken touch for granted

  2. Hi Tracy – Thanks so much for coming by to leave your comment on my blog. What you’ve written here takes me right into the joy of touch and sensuality. How absolutely precious it is, and not to be taken for granted. I also read Lili Radloff’s article and thought it was great. Just when I think we’ve gotten past these old outdated notions about women’s sexuality, up pops something like this. Go figure!

  3. Sally-Jane says:

    Thank you, while the things I have had to face are insignificant in the light of what you are dealing with I know what you mean about comments and support from bloggers and others being what gets you though.

  4. I came across your comment at Kristen’s (Motherese), and popped over for a read. I am glad to have discovered you.

    I believe in the US (at least), we are conditioned to downplay some of the most natural greatest gifts we are given. Generally, those dealing with particular senses. And specifically, those senses when they have to do with sexuality.

    Your beautiful (and brave) post couldn’t crystallize this issue any better. Why do we continue to deny the pleasure of touch? Why do we pretend that affection, sensuality, or sexuality must be boxed up in a neat fashion, or set on a shelf at a certain age, or only revealed under certain circumstances?

    Perhaps this tendency is part of why I’ve spent much of my life going back and forth to France. There, the pleasure of fragrance is celebrated. The satisfaction of conversation, the sharing of laughter, of flirtation (with or without any follow-through) is part of the fabric of any encounter – with family, friends, lovers, and yes, strangers.

    For those who constantly say “be in the moment” I wonder how sensory they are in that moment they are trying to experience? Or is it leaning heavily toward the cerebral? I don’t mean to come across as judgmental, but to savor sight, taste, scent, sound, and touch is to revel in something very special. Each is connective to other human beings, connective to our surroundings, and nourishing of our spirits.

    Why wouldn’t we, why shouldn’t we, enjoy each of our senses if and when we can?

    Yet with all that, the connections that are the truest, to me, are those where the mind engages. Perhaps this is why I’ve been able to have long term relationships of all sorts that cross an ocean. Smiles, voices, hearty discussion, exchanged prose, and generous acts – they reach us, and sustain us. It is the grace of the virtual hand, if not the actual hand.

    I look forward to visiting here often.

  5. Hi Tracy,

    Beautifully written. I agree — do things because you can. Wise words. Too many of us put our lives off until “someday.”

    Right on about leaving a comment if something stirs you. Why hold back? I enjoy being a comment fairy. It’s fun to get them and leave them. Plus, don’t you learn a lot about yourself and life while leaving your comment? I find some of my best ideas for essays and all sorts of things come from taking the time to respond to a post. (I even collect many of them.)

    Will check out Lilli’s post.

    Look forward to your next post. I’m glad we connected via the amazing Phil B’s Less Ordinary Living blog.


    Giulietta, Inspirational Rebel

  6. peter says:

    Hi Tracy

    Its amazing how one stumbles upon so much valuable stuff by chance ? on the net . I got a real sense of what you experience and what you miss , have taken for granted

    Thanks it made me reflect , not rush home and masturbate


  7. With each post, Tracy, you find a way to personalize your experience all the while providing universal lessons that each of your readers can take with him or her.

    Thank you for this post in particular, and the reminder to embrace all the sensations of life in whatever ways we may.

  8. Tracy –

    Thanks for an empowering article. I agree that speaking our mind takes courage and I think you have more of that than most of us. You always remind us to enjoy the moment and be grateful. I can’t wait for your next post.


  9. Cindy Robertson says:

    Hi Tracey

    Thank you so much for your awesome piece “Just feel” It left me with a whole new perspective, and also seeing just how many choices I do have in life, despite the relationships not working out. I have forwarded it to a couple of my friends also going through difficult times, I hope it will bless them as it did me.

  10. yme says:

    Thank you for sharing, perspective is a great teacher

  11. idelette says:

    So moving. I look forward to reading more from you.

  12. StevenMcD says:

    This is so hectic! Thanks for sharing, it must be hard. Thanks again

  13. Sam Wilson says:

    This is truly beautiful. Thank you, Tracy.

  14. Lili Radloff says:

    Tracy, your courage is an inspiration to us all. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I am humbled.

  15. Angel says:

    Wow. Thank you for the eye-opener Tracy!

  16. Amy Ford says:

    Thank you for starting my day with a new appreciation and gratitude for my amazing, working, moving, feminine body! You are an incredible inspiration.

  17. Juanita says:

    Yes, thank you.

  18. A says:

    Chris has said it…

  19. Chris Yelland says:

    Tracy, this is a stunning and moving article, really beautifully written, thank you…

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